Last night’s dinner was awkward and you are now dodging her phone calls. The chemistry has long since dissipated, but home girl can’t seem to catch a clue.
The next step is the inevitable “You’re a great person, but…” or “it’s not you, it’s me…” speech that everyone hates to be on the receiving end of.
Just how do you extricate yourself from one of the worse dating scenarios, outside of getting that Dear Jane letter of course, there is? In other words, how do you say “it’s over”?
As most of us well know, there is no “good way’ to tell a person you want to end a relationship. Since most of us, save for a lucky few, have, at some point, been dumped, we know that all the platitudes in the world didn’t erase the fact that we were…well…dumped.
The best thing to do is to meet the situation dead on. Sure, it may be easier to avoid the places you once hung out together and turn off your cell phone, but sooner or later you will want your life back. Out of fairness to the both of you, you must confront the issue so you can both move on.
KEEP IT SHORT AND TO THE POINT-long drawn out scenarios prolong the agony. If you mean this person no ill will, just come out with it. If they ask why, try to be as forthcoming as you can without crushing the persons spirit. Replying “Cause you are selfish, and clingy” is not constructive.
TRY NOT TO BREAK UP OVER THE PHONE-but if you must do so, don’t do it while they are driving, or at work. Wait till you know they are at home. If at all possible however, try to break up with someone face to face, in a private yet not too intimate location.
BE FIRM-If the woman is still into you, then of course she will object. “I can change!” she’ll cry, or she may try to explain away the behavior that has gotten her into the ejector seat to begin with. If you know your decision is sound, don’t budge. Believe me, people seldom change, and even if she did, she may end up eventually resenting you for it.
DON’T SAY “LET’S BE FRIENDS”-even if you mean it-it is better to wish them well and leave it at that. Chances are, you don’t really mean it, and are trying to make yourself feel better.
Breakups, when they are not done with vindictive intent, is simply a method of “letting go” after you realize that you and your partner are ill suited for one another Unless the person cheated on you or otherwise deceived you, there should be no real animosity in the process and it should be handled delicately.
There is no “nice” way to break things off, but you can do it with dignity and a true regard for the feelings of someone you once deemed worthy of your time and attention.